Conflict is an unavoidable and necessary part of a relationship. Where things get tricky is when conflict is not handled in a healthy, respectful, and effective way.
And that happens more often than a lot of us would like.
Partners in conflict can resort to criticism and attacking one another’s character during the conflict, rather than utilizing effective and healthy communication to get to the bottom of whatever is causing the problem in the relationship.
Unfortunately, when partners approach conflict using the four horsemen (stonewalling, defensiveness, criticism, or contempt), it causes them to miss the actual point of the conversation. Nothing gets resolved, nothing gets understood, and partners walk away feeling even more distant from each other than before.
Because conflict is such a major part of the way a relationship grows and functions, I spoke with Couples Pursuit, hosted by Valerie and Vincent Woodard, to dive into the topic of conflict in relationships.
During out conversation, we talked about:
- The importance of effective communication
- Why attacking and criticizing our partner never resolves the issue
- The ways that conflict can help partners grow in their relationship
- How taking a time-out from escalated conflict is necessary
- What repairing after conflict is and how to do this
- Focusing on one specific issue, rather than all of the issues
- Voicing your needs to your partner → what you DO want vs what you DO NOT want
- And so much more!
To watch our interview, check it out here.
For more information about Vincent and Valerie, and Couples Pursuit, you can visit their website here.